Now that we’re well into December and things are starting to get a bit more Christmassy, I decided to do a bit of a blog post about my favourite Christmas tunes. We’ve our Origin Office Party on Saturday 20th in the Menagerie, with me and DSNTs Seb Munroe going back to back and Chris Hanna headlining! You can also catch me and Jonny doing them decks the night before at Gigantic as well!
Starting off I’ve picked ‘River’ by Joni Mitchell, because I wanted to get the slow, beautiful ones out of the way before things took a turn for the worst.
I love the way you can just about hear the Jingle Bells riff on the piano chords, and Blue is just one of those albums I don’t think I could ever tire of. I remember as a kid my mum and dad playing it once a month, almost like a tradition. The second best Christmas song of all time in my book.
Next was a toughie for me, because every single track on this album is worthy of a mention. I went for this one because I don’t think that out of any of the Phil Spector artists Darlene Love gets enough recognition.
Everyone knows how incredible the Crystals and the Ronnettes were, but her voice kills it differently, it’s a lot less polished and poppy and because of that, the emotion in this song is so powerful. Thank you Phil Spector for that wonderful Christmas gift by the way, 51 years later!
Right, now onto the crap, and boy is there a lot of it. I’ve narrowed it down to 5 songs that should never, ever have seen the light of day, but fuck am I glad they did. Prepare your sides.
We start with some J-pop (or is it K-pop? I’m not sure) with DMX on hype man duties [WHAT?] There’s a video of DMX going hard with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer I’ve included as well, but this is just surreal. WHERE MY ‘DEER AT?!
Large up Evan Green as well with his delightfully witty comment of “X gon give it to ya. Christmas presents, I mean.” that I definitely would have stolen had it not been so high up the page.
Remember crunk? Unfortunately Lil’ Jon managed to rebrand himself as EDM’s “drop alert” man, taking his habit of shouting random shit from Usher songs to DJ Snake’s ‘Turn Down For What’ and continuing to steal a living in the music industry. Fortunately however, his cohorts the Ying Yang Twins have dropped off the face of the planet. We still have this to remember them by however! Undoubtedly one of the worst pieces of music ever recorded.
Noticing a pattern here? Hip hop artists love them some Christmas, as evidenced by Afroman’s entire ALBUM of novelty Christmas music. I’ve opted for the seminal ‘O Chronic tree’ but other highlights include ‘The 12 J’s of Christmas’, ‘Afroman Is Comin’ To Town’, ‘Deck My Balls’, and ‘Violent Night’. Phenomenal.
Full album is here, if you’ve just smoked a 20 to yourself and have absolutely nothing better to be doing!
Again, there’s a pattern here. Crass sexual references aplenty, and another Christmas classic butchered. RIP Eazy!
I put myself through finding this so you wouldn’t have to. I wanted to find the worst remix of any Christmas song I could, and I found some truly horrific pieces of music but none more so than this. If you can make it past the first drop, fair play. Let’s just say I won’t be playing this out this holiday season, or ever again if I can help it.
I will, however, be playing this. Everyones favourite techno tune, Xmassed up. Class video of Surgeon playing this as his last tune in Glasgow on Boxing Night a good few years back included also. Big Jeffrey on this coming Boxing Night as well, bit special.